Thursday, April 21, 2005

Reasons Why Today Sucked!

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"Dammit Guzman!"

I was going to try to keep profanity out of this blog. But today's game forces me to retract that vow. These are the reasons why this game fucking sucked.

1) Cristian Guzman bats second.
2) Patterson pitches like Cy Young, but it's all wasted.
3) Cristian Guzman gets too many plate appearances.
4) Cordero grooves successive two strike pitches, helping load the bases.
5) It rains and the fucking umps don't call the game, forcing Guzman to try to throw a literal mudball across the diamond for the third out.
6) Frankie doesn't lobby the umps to call the game!

Seriously though, Guzman is batting SECOND in the lineup and he has a .186 On Base Percentage. HELLO?! Earth to Frankie! Why are you giving him such a prominent lineup spot!?

If Guzman didn't suck so much, we wouldn't have had to ask him to bunt following Wilkerson's fourth inning hit. When you ask your #2 hitter to bunt, maybe that's a clue he shouldn't be the #2 hitter!

He could have swung away and gotten a hit - then maybe Guillen could have driven him in as well, and we would have had a 2-0 lead! What in the name of Hondo is wrong with you, Frank?!

Nick Johnson has a .419 OBP. That means he's more than twice as likely to get on base as Guzman. Put him in the number two hole - he could have got on base after Wilky and been driven in for an extra run!

Now is it fair that fans will boo Guzman extra hard after making the error to lose the game? No, it's not, because God himself couldn't have made that play. Flinging a mudball across the diamond like that is hard for anyone.

But does Guzman still suck? Abso-fucking-lutely.

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